Playdates

Ah yes, the anxiety related to playdates…can they do the same activity? What can they play when E has trouble getting around? Will she get teased? Can she have a “normal” playtime when I am (literally) such a close, hulking presence (but necessary so she doesn’t fall on her face)? Will people ask E to play with them? What happens when the neighborhood kids are in a close knit group, that E isn’t in b/c of her mobility problems? How can I stay connected with parents of kids E’s age when I work full-time?
UGH.
This is definitely getting easier. School has helped immensely, as she plays well with her classmates and NONE of them tease her or treat her badly due to her disability (that was a wonderful surprise). We try to be upfront about her issues, and most people are cool with that. I found it better to welcome questions by other kids (“What is wrong with her legs? Why are her eyes like that?”) and answer them honestly, while trying to bend the answer to convery she’s “different” but not “damaged”. Most children are cool with this, and I’ve been really pleasantly surprised at how welcoming others are (children and parents). We’re also lucky in that our friends and neighbors offer so much encouragement.
Certain activites are really difficult, like pool parties, or bounce houses, or sledding…but we do the best we can to try to show Elena that she can be a part of the fun. I’ve come home several times in tears, because of how different my child is and how far advanced (motor-wise) children a fraction of her age are. That’s getting better as she gets more able. We’re lucky that E is so intelligent and that her mobility is improving all the time. It also makes me very conscious of others, particulary children, who may not be as able. We try to be warm and inclusive as best we can…b/c I know…IT MATTERS.